Making Mistakes and Embracing Imperfection

Storytime

“aaah…TBD? Was the subject line supposed to say that?”

That’s what my amazing partner innocently asked me as I’m getting ready to leave the house for a bodywork appointment recently.

It was a rather low-key and quiet Saturday morning at our house. I had just finished a call with my coach. And like I said I was heading out the door.

My response? 

I’m pretty sure I blurted out some swear words that I would prefer I not repeat here.

Internally the panic began.  Body temp rising. Heart rate increasing.

Racing thoughts, seeing my “Happinotes” email arrive into my subscribers inbox with TBD as the subject line. It’s not supposed to be TBD. I totally remember changing it to “sunshine and rainbows” and was excited for the email distribution that week. 

I log in and see for myself. Yep. There it is. TBD, just as my guy described it. To nearly 500 people. Maybe you were one of them…. 

Damnit! 

And, I have an appointment to get to. There’s literally nothing I can do right now and I’d really like to be in a headspace that allows me to actually enjoy my appointment. I kiss my partner goodbye and quickly shuffle out the door and into the car. 

I shoot a text over to my business bestie looking for some conciliation. She delivers! 

40 minutes later as I’m approaching my appointment, another dear friend shoots me a text “Loving your latest stuff”.  Thank you, Universe for compelling her to send that! I thank her and share a bit, she adds more affirmation and comfort. 

I walk into my appointment, share what’s happening and my provider, who is also familiar with the self promotion and marketing gives me a smile and a comforting hug and reminds me that we have all been there.

It’s okay.

I’m okay. 

We will start face down. 

Hi, Hello, Aloha! I’m Heather.

I am a human and I make mistakes! And I live to tell about them! Also, I am a coach, mentor and creator.  I’m so glad you’re here! If you’re new, welcome! If you’re returning, thanks for coming back! 

For the record, I had an amazing session with my bodyworker! 

Was that the first mistake I’ve made? No.

Will it be the last?  Certainly not. 

I share the story to give you some insight, some behind the scenes…or maybe “between the ears”…so you can feel less alone when you make a mistake, have some perspective and also, some practical tools for when you are in a similar situation.  

Rewind even a short 3-5 years ago and a mistake like that would have brought me to my knees. Tears for sure. 

Rewind even further, say 12-15 years ago, I probably would have thrown something. I definitely would have screamed at my partner and found some way to blame them too. 

Progress has been made. 

I am great at making mistakes now?  I mean, I don’t know what the “measure” is but the panic and negative self talk that still creeps in is an indication, to me, that I still have some work to do. 

The Voices in My Head

• What will people think?
• I need to get it “right”
• OMG I’m so embarrassed

These thoughts and many others come up when I make a mistake like this.  This time around, I noticed those thoughts didn’t stick around for very long.  Thank goodness! 

But why?  How is it that not that long ago I would have had such a strong reaction and now, it’s different?

I really thought about this and while I wish it was a perfectly clear, linear, 3 step how to be better at making mistakes that I could pass along to you, it’s not… Here goes  (oh! and btw – check out the accompanied video for a little more explanation for each)

1. Understanding who I am, really. A child of God. A divine being. Spirit having a human experience. 
2. Becoming acquainted with the programs and paradigms that are inside of my subconscious mind and consciously choosing to transform them.
3. Making room and getting more comfortable with imperfections, knowing perfection isn’t real. It’s just a real pain in the ass. 
4. Commitment to love myself regardless of how I am performing.
5. Sharing my vulnerable moments with people I trust.  Knowing that sharing is the antidote to shame.  Shame cannot live when it’s expressed. 
6. Focusing on what I want to experience and choosing how to respond versus autopilot reactions. 
7. Practicing gratitude for what I have and for what is to come. 

That’s not an exhaustive list, not in the slightest, but when I replay that scene in my mind, this list sums up what allowed me to respond the way I did, versus the way I would have. 

All of this said, if you are putting off anything in your life or business, in fear of making a mistake, I invite you to listen to this message again and take what you need to move forward. Press send. Make the call.  Do the thing…  

And if you’re prone to want to scream, yell, run and hide – cry your eyes out or whatever…. when you do make a mistake, save this video so you can refer back to it when the time comes.  

Alright, that’s all I have for ya today. Thanks so much for stopping by and I’ll see you next time!