Growth will create grief.
I know, I know…it’s supposed to be fun and exciting and have you living your best life, right?! And then, cue the tears, the frustration, the sadness….hell maybe even anger or depression. It’s not talked about, and yet, it’s true. Tune in to understand it better and hear what you can do about it.
I’m noticing a theme with my clients right now. They are all expanding and growing in such amazing ways, of which, I am super proud and honored to be along for the ride for. Growing their teams, changing their business model, expanding lines of business, acquiring more customers, developing systems, hiring employees, partnering with new vendors and so forth.
And, while the growth and the new levels they are reaching has a lot of fun, exciting, and overall “positive” feelings, there’s also a dark side. Specifically – sorrow and grief.
They’re surprised and well, I’m not.
Here’s the deal – all the pieces and parts that got my clients to where they are now, was useful and necessary. For some, the thinking, the strategies, the tactics, the relationships, the tools…you name it…had been used for a long time, and they worked! My clients, in a lot of ways, began to identify as it. Internalized. A part of them.
They set their goal and started their journey…And, in the face of looking at what they want now, and the moving towards it, they recognized and have begun releasing what won’t help them achieve their current goal.
Releasing…letting go, discarding, put away, purging – you get the idea.
Ultimately, creating a separation or distance to some degree or another.
If you’re following me….you’re following me, right?!?
Essentially, requiring that they separate and create distance with themselves. Can you see that?
Maybe you’ve experienced it before?
Knowing that grief and sorrow with growth is normal may help matters.
And also, knowing that this is normal may not be enough to get you thru.
Let’s chat about what you can do when you’re experiencing this phenomenon:
Think of it as a grieving process. After all, it is.
Addressing the grief may involve different stages similar to other types of grief, such as denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. – gratitude and love
However, it may also require additional steps, such as self-reflection and exploration, to help redefine and rebuild a new identity
This is why it’s so important to know how you need to “BE” in order to be the kind of person who does what you want to do. Getting clear on that during the process of moving toward your goal is essential. How? Intentionally think about it; Write it out. And instead of focusing on what you will DO, note how you will BE.
Maybe that means you are:
Bold
Courageous
Grounded
Disciplined
Shrewd & Discerning
Curious
Open
Connected
It really could be anything….I’m just naming some examples. Notice, I didn’t say anything about DOING.
I advise my clients to take this step BEFORE they get moving on their goal, however, it doesn’t have to work like that. If you’re in the middle of your goal, you can still benefit from this. Think of it like a compass that helps you inform your thoughts, feelings and actions – which ultimately create results.
While I focused on business, I must mention, this same experience can happen in our personal lives: such as a major life change or transition, such as retirement, the end of a relationship, or a health condition that affects one’s abilities.
I know I have personally experienced this over the last 12-18 months – going from single to coupled; no kids to two kids half the time; while these personal transitions were amazing and completely aligned with my goals, there was still a grieving process of letting the old me go.
What about you? Are you experiencing grief as a result of your own personal growth right now? If you’d be so brave, leave a comment and share! The more this is talked about, the better, if ya ask me!
And what about the people in your life who are also experiencing grief as a result of growth? If you think they could benefit from this video, give it a share!
That’s all I have for you today. Be sure to subscribe if you’re not already! See you next time.
